Exclusive sneak preview! Football stars parade in their sexy kits. Brazil, here we come!

Brazil is back in the spotlight as the build-up to the World Cup intensifies. The Sydney Morning Herald’s travel section ran a big spread this weekend onthe world’s sexiest country, saying the World Cup will bea football fest in a G-string. Phwoar! 

How right they were. This week, many of the participating nations revealed what kits their teams will be wearing at the tournament, and the infamous Brazilian ‘dental floss bikini’ influence is evident in many of the designs. Check them out.

Dutch kitHere is the Dutch one, nicknamed the Van Pervy. As usual, the orange colour is prominent, and if the team scores a lot, expect the orange banners to point to the heavens. Van Pervy will become Van Perky!

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coq sportifThe French have gone for a touch of flamboyance, I think this is known as Le Coq Sportif. Looks like the French think they have scored already! They’re very cock-a-hoop.

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AussieThe Australian uniform, made by adidass, drew some criticism. Some felt it was a copy of the Brazilian colours. What do you think?

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Afrique

Teams from Africa are hoping to catch the eye too this year. Here is the kit for Cameroon, the team nicknamed the Indomitable Loins. Oops, Lions! No, maybe this is the Ivory Coast Elephants.

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GreekThe Greeks have opted for the tried and trusted Spartacus look.

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blue samThe Japanese team, nicknamed the Blue Samurai, are expecting their matches to be very one-sided affairs.

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BorneoThe other Asian teams are being coy about what they will wear, but fashionistas say expect Borneo jungle motifs.

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ChileProudly showing off his team’s apparel is the captain of La Roja, the Reds, from Chile.

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warmThose teams playing in Porto Alegre, the southernmost host city, might have to dress up a bit more to ward off the winter chills. You can freeze your butt off there in June and July. How’s this for a solution?

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Putin’s disputin’

One team that’s not coming to the party this year is Russia, under the leadership of the Great One, Vladimir Putin. He has decreed that no way is Russia going in for G-strings! Bright, rainbow colours are out, macho camo is in. Here he is showing off the officially approved uniform, nipples, boots and all.

Putin

The rest of the Russian team, nicknamed the Grey Cardinals, look thrilled…

Russians

Maybe they will get to wear some sexy outfits when Russia hosts the event in 2018.

  • You can read the full Sydney Morning Herald article here.
  • Replica kits are available at good sports stores and selected stockists. Show your support, wear your team colours!
  • All images taken shamelessly from various websites, possibly of ill repute; G-String research is a sneaky business. 
  • The Vladimir Putin pic has been photoshopped by the official Soviet news agency to make the Great One’s nipples look less flabby. But the photoshopper was sent to Siberia as punishment for doing such a poor job of it.

4 thoughts on “Exclusive sneak preview! Football stars parade in their sexy kits. Brazil, here we come!

  1. LOL! And all so immaculately waxed… a MUST for Brazil. I believe they make you enter the body scanner on entry at the airport, and if there’s the merest hint of residual bum fluff, you’ll be deported immediately.

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